Why compete thyself

This thought came to my mind while I was playing football today (for only the third time in my life).

As I am growing old, accepting making mistakes is becoming a struggle within myself. I know it is easy to blame the system in which we reside that says school is over and thus manyatimes learning too when we complete academic education, or to blame myself for finding an excuse. Be it what it may, both blames will not work in my favor.

Then a question came to my mind. What could be the source of this fear of making mistakes. Among others, certainly one possible reason is the fear of losing in comparison with the other or feeling low or embarrassed if I don't perform at a standard that has been defined. 

Since childhood, the system we live in has somehow fueled the idea of competition with classmates, neighbors, siblings or society as a whole. If for a moment I presume that i teach myself to compete Only and Only myself, how would life become for me? 

The measure of comparison then would not be what 'other' has scores or how 'other' has performed, but how I performed the previous time. It is common to feel low when compared to another but when compared to my previous self I feel hard to think that I will feel low or embarrassed. Yes I would feel the need to push myself but with a positive insight and feeling!! 

Let's presume another scenario. If one has attained first position, but the national standard or even the international standard was low, then may be that individual has been deceived to feel that the first position implies that scope for improvement is less. On the other hand when I compete solely thyself I am encouraged to not only grow my standards gradually higher and higher but with also a never ending downward or stagnant slope of learning. 

Hence learning shall continue for Life, and more importantly with neither distaste for 'other' or for 'thyself' :)      

A New Beginning ... Self Learning Initiative

There was a spark! Sindh felt awakened just for that moment; because its children knew they were the ones who lit the candle.

Computers were placed, walls painted in green and while, and a ribbon tied waiting to be split apart. This was the inauguration ceremony of the Self Learning Initiative [a project launched by RETO Foundation] at the Community Based School, Tando Jam - a town placed at the outskirts of River Indus in the province of Sindh. 

Our young hosts Iqra and Baakh [students at CBS] introduced the program with couplets from Shah Latif's poetry. The entire launch was celebrated in the language of the Indus - Sindhi, and students as well as members of Shades [youth led community development initiative] performed dances on music that brought forth the embedded cultural and pluralistic values of Sindh to the audience of parents, teachers and educators of the Town. 

What stood remarkably outstanding was the vigor and passion with which some of the speeches were made by the young and enthusiastic participants. The dilemmas of Education System of Pakistan and alarming figures such as 25 million children out of schools, were eloquently shared, vilified and deliberated upon. Dur e Shahwar's [second year medical student] pitch made the audience deeply reflect on the multifaceted picture of education in Pakistan, demonstrating the disparity not only in class, but also clothes, medium of instruction, structure of assessment, and the curricula and its implementation in their entirety, Questions were raised and pockets of hope were shared with humility. 

"Computers will do no magic, unless they are introduced in the spirit of learning", quoted one participant. So true was this observation, and what followed was an enlightening discussion on the value of curiosity, exploration and the role of teacher as a facilitator - who guides the students into the unknown with motivation and encouragement.

For me, this event was a walk back into Sindh - a place that has historically and to-date been exalted for its cultural wealth and humane philosophy, but lately remembered as a region that has made headlines only to show the debilitating state in which the future of its children lies. 

I believe the latter part of the picture will change - and when I see these young students communicate so passionately, I am truly hopeful that this will happen very soon!     

  

SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF SCIENCE

"Is there something smaller than a proton?" a curious student asks. And the reply is 'you find out'.

"Practical is what is practiced!" one wise person told me. So I am happy to be in this lively place right now, where although heat is trapped in the room of 40 and sweat is pouring from all four-heads, but learning science is not considered boring and blowing balloons to build rockets is not deemed as impractical.

I am here in Tando Jam, a town known for its agriculture university, located 25 km from Hyderabad; attending a session organized by RETO Foundation (Reach Engage and Transform the Outreach) under its summer Smart Study Program. 

It has been observed that grade 11 and 12 are highly stressful years for students; exams become an entry or exit door to universities and performance is measured by the monetary gains expected to be retrieved. But this room appears very different. The students are preparing for a new life ahead yet eyes are not dimmed by boredom and burden, instead they are curiously trapped on to the experiments they are conducting.

I see Ms. Lala (as students call her) running around the room, using chemicals playfully and dancing with her hands to make daily used resources a medium for inspiring inquiry. While traveling to Tando Jam from Karachi in the early hours of Sunday, Lalah Rukh tells me about her exciting experience with students in Norway. For the past 5 years she has been working with students across Norway celebrating science education. In her words 'I want to see everyone speak the language of science'. Her enthusiasm and passion brings her to Pakistan now.

Without doubt everyone in this room spoke the language of science. I have never experienced learning Newton's law with a balloon racing across a piece of thread, or studying molecules by mixing calcium tablets with water and see them exploding in front of my eyes.

We were also fortunate to be accompanied by Mr. Kaleem Durrani, a peoples person who is enthusiastically committed to social work. He shared his experience working with the IRTIQA Institute of Social Sciences, and stated 'every destruction brings an unprecedented opportunity to create anew, it is us who will decide how our education system now is recreated'.

RETO brings a new platform; I hope one, that thrives to channelize exploding creativity from such rooms into meaningful innovations that make our society a self sustainable and sharing community to live in.  

READY TO SHINE

We all admire the things that shine. Our eyes are first attracted to glowing lamps, dark polished shoes, glittering dresses, sparkling stars and articulated speeches. But the real shine is only tested with the pigment of time. Education is a wonderful mixture of ingredients, which if absorbed in accurate proportions and patiently cooked at a balanced temperature, can produce one of the finest recipe that is ready to shine at all times. Rajwanti is one of the few girls from rural Sindh, Pakistan who I feel is enthusiastically treading on this patient path. She is a first year student at Liaquat University of Medical and Health Sciences (LUMHS), aspiring to become a doctor and serve her community.   

Rajwanti's grandfather was the first from the family to migrate to Tando Jam and pursue education in Engineering, thus bidding farewell to the family profession of farming. The story of her grandfather and encouragement by both parents, always instilled the eagerness for learning, and made Rajwanti face all obstructions with optimism.

Women education is not very welcome in rural Sindh, where traditional understanding of women's role restricted to four walls is profoundly embedded. Like majority families in Sindh, ties with cousins were strongly knit for Rajwanti as well. Therefore interaction with them would always be a discomforting reality. To this, Rajwanti's response remains "I always feel, when I achieve something, my extended family will value education and understand the wonders it can achieve."

The second obstruction for Rajwanti was quite unique. While most of us struggle to learn, speak and academically perform in English, Rajwanti transited from English to Sindhi in grade 5. With change in father's income, the change in address and school followed. A position holder in her erstwhile English medium primary school, Rajwanti faced a two pronged struggle - learn a new language and maintain the hard-won status of being the 'First'. She failed to do so in the initial years, and as a result was not awarded yearly gifts by her father and underwent a phase of reflection: "If someone has a position, only then they are awarded and recognized otherwise ignored. I must study more and more." From a beginner to a proficient academic performer in Sindhi, Rajwanti met the demands of her family and self, and by grade 9 again acquired the first position.

Eagerness to learn and compete do make Rajwanti a skilled and determined individual, however that is not the reason for her uniqueness. It is her ability to perceive the complexities of life and form web of connections, that make her grow into learned individual. Because of her father's habit to challenge, Rajwanti became more competitive, as a result of her oscillating relationship with co-mates she observed how competition and friendship unevenly interplay, and due to societies positive response to rank and fame but narrow thought on women education, she recognized the contradictions of life and the mixture of individual effort and inequality of opportunity, that collectively result in ones growth and another's demise.   

RETO's intervention in the form of "Career Opportunities Program" in 2010 followed by community led leadership program - "Shades" was effective in shaping Rajwanti's holistic perspective towards life. In her words, "Sir Shahzad was very thought provoking - he always demonstrated and advocated for multiple perspectives at the same time." After having enrolled in the workshops conducted by Shades, Rajwanti excelled academically in her higher studies, optimized the opportunity to prepare for and apply to erstwhile unheard of Pakistan's finest medical institutions like Aga Khan University, and finally secured her place in LUMHS. Today, she also serves as a campus ambassador for the Aao Parhao Campaign, led by the Express Tribune. 

Rajwanti's story is on one hand, an example of commitment and perseverance by an individual, and on the other, a case study that demonstrates the wonderful opportunities out there for individuals if the society together upholds and invest in the promising enterprise of education. There are many more girls in rural Sindh who have all that it takes to shine, and await patiently for organizations like RETO and the community at large to step ahead and invest for a better tomorrow. 

ETHICS IN AN UNETHICAL ENVIRONMENT

I have just returned from the examination hall at the Narayan Jagannath Vaidya College aka NJV. It was a Matric Board examination and I was provided to write the cherished ethical principles prophesized by some of the most enlightened and respected men among the entire humanity, including Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), Prophet Moses (A.S.), Gautama Buddha, Shri Krishna, Zarathustra and Guru Nanik.

The difficult part was not to memorize their teachings but was to write them in a building which once stood tall as a symbol of enlightenment it self – when it was erected as the first government school in Sindh in 1885, but today, leaving aside the awe-striking architecture, words like enlightenment and spirit of knowledge had completely disappeared. The scenes of open cheating and authority immersed with pride and impoliteness were prevalent and it was an experience filled with shame and disgust.

The more dismal reality was that, these were the few privileged members of the Pakistani youth who could even access education but no one seemed to recognize that it was not education that was being delivered, instead ignorance was being furthered, that too with pride. For anyone with the slightest of foresight and value for education, stepping in there would have been a distressing reality.

If we are to implement the Right to Free and Compulsory Education - enshrined in the Constitution Article 25 A, anytime soon in Pakistan, we must debate and re-conceptualize what we mean by Education!!

LET US UNITE

LET US UNITE !!

Let Us Ignite
Not the vehicles and industries outside
But the passions hidden inside

Let Us Torch
Not the homes and possessions of our depressed fellows
But the broken hearts that desperately wait for emboldening hope

Let Us March
Not into the towns and villages of our self-created enemies
But into the dwelling within, that misses its lost companion in its quest for peace

LET US UNITE !!

FINDING MY SPACE

The last three days have been very eventful and interesting. It began with several Good Bye’s and hugs and kisses on the 16^th morning to submitting my visa document at the immigration and flying across the border in less than two hours. Two hours might be enough to change jurisdictions, alter the weather and time but the mind goes slow I guess; it needed time to adapt and leave behind the fond moments spent which now will become memories that I cherish !!

I was received by my Maa and cousin Kabir and was in no time on the wide roads of Karachi leaving behind the trafficked and hustling bustling Mumbai. Meeting everyone at home was nice but somewhere I felt I am still not with my physical presence... That vacuum passed by especially the next day when early morning I was up for my duty – drive Bhabi and Priya to college. That felt nice, I got time to chat with them and then 

go and meet other relatives as I always do J

Pakistan is experiencing a new phase at present – “The Historic Elections” and somewhere I felt I need to be a part of that and so I did get the opportunity to join a talk show discussing the questions by the youth for parliamentarians. The questions revolved around change and so did the answers yet not many questions were asked and answered as to how that desired change will be brought -> a culture of blame that has so deeply become embedded in our society was reflected recurrently. But I must say, amongst all of them there was one independent candidate who did make sense and was well rooted in context when answering questions posed to him. I also asked a question --- in respect to the misuse of Blasphemy Law but the answers fell again all over the place. Post the talk show I got engaged in a deep discussion with a lady about Islam and Pakistan !! I didn’t know if I should or should not discuss the socially censored topic as this one but I went with the flow and it felt nice somewhere that at least in some space this discussion arose and one could share his/here views.

In some parts of Karachi re-polling was scheduled for the 19^th of May due to accusations of rigging. The area in which the civil society rose against the unfair polling was majorly the elite residential units of Karachi who for the first time gathered in favour of change and dared to challenge the dominant party in Karachi that is armed to its teeth. Its’ a positive change in that light however the grass is not green on the other side either. It is the formally educated, well dressed, well spoken Imran Khan’s party PTI they vote for – who speaks of Change but the vision is somewhere blurred and the facts speak for it – in Lower Dir, one of the districts in Pakhtunkhwa where Imran Khan’s party won, a contract was signed with the tribal elders a day before elections debarring women from voting in the elections. If the road to democracy starts with a compromise of fundamental rights I don’t know what change to expect.

The next day I decided to experience the elections for myself and chose to become the polling agent of one of the independent candidates. In the evening I attended a briefing for the same and was excited to be in the field the next morning. Same evening late at 11 pm a breaking news flashed – breaking news comes every next 15 min in Karachi however some are of more importance than the other. This one told about a senior most member of the PTI being shot dead just in front of her house that is in the same area where polling was to take place the next day. At 7 in the morning next day I was ready to leave but met my father on the way out who shared his concern and asked me not to go. It felt bad cause I had promised but situations sometimes do alter your decisions – I chose not to go after discussing the many incidents my father shared with me depicting the state of lawlessness and fear under which Karachi stays a-live today. I don’t know the distinction between stupidity and bravery – may be the line is too thin or may be we need more words in between to fill in the grey area.

Amongst all the fears I fear most ‘the state of helplessness’ cause I feel that makes me feel unworthy and that’s not true !! So I accompanied my father to the nearby park where he interacts with a nice group of senior citizens who walk and do yoga together. That was fun – it was a mixed group – Sindhi, Punjabi, Hindu, Muslim and may be Shia and Sunni also. The sects and caste don’t matter when we are friends and may be that gives hope for a better tomorrow. I also chose to pick up all the trash that came my way and hope to do that everyday ... may be that’s my way of not feeling helpless and feel good so that I can do more and contribute to my best...

There is lots more to learn, unlearn and understand here and I hope I do that with a a calm and focused self --- and enjoy being in the present as Shardamma says J “Do not lament over the past or be anxious of the future – stay in the present”  

Lets’ Hope for the best !!!!!