I Wonder Why

My guardian My beloved

My friend for 12 years and more

Moments of pressure moments of joy 

You gave us all

Today I wish to register a complaint

By me .. and by many others

Who feel like me

Life is meant to be uncertain

You know and I too

And with Covid you really do!

Then I wonder why

You walk so certain each day

In the 12 years passed on to me

As if black and white

Hold nothing between the two

Tales of explorers continue to remain

Your best themes told

And my best bedtime stories

For times ebb and flow

Letting my dreams and imagination

Ignite the creative halls

Then I wonder why

When testing moments of decision

Come to fall

When faith demands you and me

To hold our heads tall

Why fear of unknown

Acts as a winning case

Celebrated by all

Jaantay ho Kaun hai Turbat?

881,913 square km of land constitutes Pakistan, out of which 44% is demarcated within the province of Baluchistan. With my educational travels to outskirts of Punjab and the hill station schools in the adventurous mountains of Gilgit Baltistan, I often boast I have experienced sprinkles of education across Pakistan. When advert for workshop in Turbat appeared on Facebook, I googled and was surprised at my ignorance that it is the second biggest city in Baluchistan housing an international airport. Opportunity to volunteer for the camp excited me to explore the unfamiliar terrain, experience an infamously labeled province and decrease some % of personal ignorance.

When 46 degrees does not limit your excitement, it is the desire to walk the unfamiliar territory and thrill of meeting some students somewhere that becomes the source of joy and enthusiasm. A traditional beginning it was; amphi seating - girls on one side, boys on the other - chief guests in the front, words of appreciation and so on. The fun started the guests made their way out and the word 'fear' was thrown in the air. Initial hesitant responses soon converted into courageous and bold expressions by boys and girls alike: 'zamanay se dar lagta hai, ghar waley naraz hotay hain, khud se dar lagta hai', and experiences of day to day struggle started pouring in, receiving permission for the summer camp, included. At the same time we observed a pattern - after every 5 - 6 expressions of fear came a bold response that the panacea to the fears lie in 'self-belief, self-motivation, faith and personal courage'. Those interjections altered the energy in the room. 

We the facilitators from rather privileged backgrounds were amazed to see how conscious these students are. when day to day acts of waking up without electricity, struggling to reach school, accessing fuel, water and food due to security concerns, and connecting with the larger world through internet becomes a struggle and a stimulus to act courageously, children grow  far too soon, and traditional pen and paper educational systems hardly keep up the pace. As one participant shared her experience, given that females completing middle school is a privilege, imagining a participant resisting her parents' decision to pursue arts instead of medicine is tantamount to bringing a revolt in the system. 

Now we felt somewhere confident where to begin from, and the next three days of 'design thinking' were driven by their raw experiences and our desire to weave them piece by piece into an unfamiliar cloth of connection. We had three guiding principles from the Acumen journey - 'stay present', 'step into the discomfort' and 'trust the process', along with our host co-facilitator - former Acumen Fellow, Granaz Baloch. She is a fearless mentor for students who intervened intermittently with inspiring narration in Baluchi. The power of mother tongue was profoundly evident when she spoke; unfortunately most students in Pakistan are bereft of the space to express and experience learning in the language they best understand. 

Granaz allowed us to make the learning space co-educational. A completely unfamiliar experience for the students, we learnt. From the amphi seats we moved on to the floor, where students gathered in a non-chaotic yet in-orderly seating arrangement of 4 and 5 together. The students came from 10 different schools across grade 8, 9 and 10, both public and private, along with selected fellows who represented the diverse departments of Turbat University. All with mixed bag of experiences shared common systemic challenges, and those were used as pretext to walk through the different stages of design thinking. Water, transport, health, education and sports were contextualized by their personal encounters, which in mix gender groups were identified as alive systems with numerous individual and institutional stakeholders, and their respective roles. Inevitably students found themselves and their community one among the stakeholders, and thus a contributing factor with an agency to act. Many stereotypes also surfaced, especially towards the opposite gender - 'nahin socha tha larkay bhi kuch serious sochtay hain'. It was heartwarming to know that students found this space safe enough to share their misconceptions and allow themselves to be vulnerable.

In the process we shared many delightful moments; making stories, role playing situations, discovering actors and singers among the participants, allowing our bodies to move with balloons, and bursting them bidding farewell to at-least one fear for today. In four days strange faces became familiar friends, and bond of laughter, cry and care was born. Realization resurfaced that a 'no-go area' is only one where heart was not at the driving seat. Once the self-created perception of the 'other' is broken, a beautiful 'us' takes birth. Thus we have an 'Ask'! Children across the unfamiliar terrains are awaiting such encounters. Crawl if not walk, as Martin Luther says, but step towards and not away from these distances.           
  

Unsettling Or Settling - Day 3 Journal

25 April 2019; Acumen Seminar 2 in the Hills of Murree 

Buhat socha buhat samjha

Kuch us ka qisa
Kuch apna qisa

Khayal kayi uljhanein kayi
Suljhanay ko kahaniyan kayi

Sulajh na paye ek bhi
Shayad suljhana inhein hai hi nahi

Sawal kayi jawab kayi
Khubsoorat khayal kayi

Hawaoon ki tarhan inhein udnay do
Suraj ki tarhan inhein jalnay do

In ke beech kya mehsoos karte ho
Un ehsasat ko ubharnay do

Woh khamosh thay ab tak
In kison ke peechay

Shayad un ko ubharnay ki jaga dena
Bhi hai ek naye kissay ko dawat dena 

A eulogy to the 12 burnt schools in Chilas

"Aik Paigam Aaitish Bazigaron Ke Naam"

Aik school mein hota kya hai
Woh aatish nazar ho gaya to khota kya hai?

Padhti hain yahan bachiyan, bola kisi ne
Tauba Tauba - Jalado inhain! socha kisi ne

Raat ke andharay mein kar dala unhein aagh ki nazar
Raakh ho gayi - woh table, woh kursi, woh rang barangi soft board jis pe kabhi, bachiyon ne seencha tha ek khoobsoorat manzar

Aik school mein hota kya hai
woh aatish nazar ho gaya to khota kya hai?

Sochtay hain woh - kitabon mein hai taleem
kursiyon mein, imaraton mein hai taleem

Band ho jaengi yeh imaratein
To rastay school ke tham jaengay

Ek chotay school se
Nikalta hai ek baray school ka raasta

Jis mein tum bhi ho
Aur mein bhi hoon

Woh school hai - taaron ka, chaand ka, sooraj ka, parindon ka, darakhton ka, baadalon ka, pahadon ka, nadiyon ka, khuli fiza aur hawaoon ka

Jin ko dekh kar - poochta hai dil, mein kaun hoon, kahan hoon, kaise hoon, kyun hoon

Aatish nazar kar sakte ho in sab ko
To kar do

Warna sawal ubhartay rahenge aatish ban ke
Is school se us school tak

Aik school mein hota kya hai
Woh aatish nazar ho gaya to khota kya hai?

Gilgit Baltistan Diaries March 2017

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Once again this road has called on to me but thankfully i have my team with me for a crazy ride 🎶
I always cherish how travel brings up in in depth conversations around every topic alive - educational landscape always being the centre! Reaching Gilgit Baltistan is in itself an introspective educational experience one must venture upon 😊

Firyal's first ever flight !! Or i should say first and a stretch of consecutive flights to the north most part of Pakistan and the world, and back to the sea level :) Traveling with Teacher Development can be highly invigorating ... Welcome on Board !

And we met these mountains too.. At night they reflect a dark and ruthless personality or a firm and strong one - perspectives!

When educators across age, region and professional positions hold balloons 🎈and engage themselves in activities of using space and pitch, there is strong hope that these RSDUs will visit the  middle schools they supervise, with a rekindled spirit and enthusiasm :)

When a traveler from Karachi confuses desi butter with boiled potato 🥔 and takes a wholesome bite throat reminds of the stupidity :p Visited Badar's immensely polite and hospitable parents and a serene house :) Ate Pako, Shuwanchal and Desi anda !!

Badar's mother Zareen Nama is a symbolic gesture to the struggles mothers undergo to dream for the prosperous future of their children. Originally from Hundur, Yasin she arrived in Gilgit after marriage as her husband Zarb Ali Khan joined the army. His army travel took him to UN peace keeping force in Congo, and across the country of Pakistan, while Zareen was left with 5 children, and a job of Grade 1 Govt position at Public School Gilgit. The school gave her a medium to channelize her dreams and her children were enrolled .. she learnt subjects with them and acted as a teacher, mother and father to her children. As time passed so did the hope and struggles strengthened. Today they have a beautiful house of their own, all 5 have excelled in their respective fields and their own third son - Badar, is traveling to Zareen's home town Hundur with Aga Khan University Examination Board to strengthen their Middle Schooling Programme :)

Its a door way !!

It was always a dream to run 🏃 down to the people playing cricket in the mountain fields .. and so Badar and I did :) It was a semi - final match played between players from Somal and Yangal - near by villages to Gupis. The air was freezing but with 22 to score in 12 balls both teams were heated in their cheers and silence. Yangal won on the second last ball with a six !!!

Sometimes the beauty is so spellbound and magnanimous that eyes spark with excitement and a smile of calmness appears on the face :)

A morning tea with Ali Jan, receptionist at PTDC Gupis for past 17 years, strengthened our purpose to be here!! He is a resident of Gupis and his three children study at Diamond Jubilee School Gupis. The conversation started with the stories of tourists flowing in and out through the years, and then went into the lives of his children and how after encouraging conceptual learning in the middle years his son Ahtasham Ali who is in 10 grade has to appear in a local board lacking quality and accountability thus causing frustration. He was glad to know that his daughter who is now in grade 7 Neelum Ali will undertake project based learning with AKUEB and hopefully when she enters grade 9 will appear from Aga Khan Univ Examination Board. We shared a couple of hearty laughters when nature of projects were discussed including the one on endangered animals, as a body of Ibex was sitting in the reception area. Ali Jan also spoke about his younger son Tanweer Ali who studies in Grade, sometimes Ali Jan sneaks into his books and gets surprised how much they already learn at this age, which he did not experience till very late.

It is amazing how a systematic change can positively affect so many lives in so many ways - and the role we individuals play within it :)

Gupis PTDC. Its a chilly morning - socks are up, muffler is tightly locked on the throat, ears are packed yet the wind finds its way and shivering begins !! Balance is what my mother has always advocated for. But what is 'balance' i continue to search. So when i do yoga in this serene and solid ambience, i do find an expression of balance - when the breathing clears within and the parts of the body crack open, the body and mind find a way to connect with the fresh air outside. Its experiential Its amazing 😊

We lost him and then we found him :p Lengths residents hop for fishing the unique Trout !!

Diamond Jubilee Gulagmoli - at the height of above 3000 meters above the sea level. Met Naveed Hayat - SST teacher and Rustam Khan, English teacher from another DJ school. This school has 380 students enrolled who come from 10 diff villages, and many students walk for about 40 minutes in snow and cold!

PTDC Phander - This is the view from my room 😇 It was the most cold night i have ever experienced. The last i stayed in a snowy night was in Boston but houses had a heating system. Here i had a small one rod electric heater - good for warming hands if i made an effort to bring them near the rod. After two layers of clothing, throat tightly locked with the muffler, double socks, woolen cap, ear cover and 3 blankets, the frozen lake gave me a tough time. They say, if sub comes then you can take a bath otherwise ... i was lucky to see the shining rays of the sun whitening the snow at 7 am and Naeem bhai, the care taker was on time with a bucket of sizzling hot water. Shaving and taking a bath was another feat altogether 🎶 I wonder...What a feat it must be, day in and day out, for students from 10 different villages who walk 40 minutes to reach the DJ Gulagmoli School every morning!

Teacher Development Team has reached different heights - Gulagmoli 3250 meters above the sea level - enroute to Chitral via Shandoor Pass

Had the pleasure of meeting Javaid Hayat at his 200 year old residence in Gulagmoli. His family like many others in the village, migrated from Swat and Chitral region. They are Pakhtoons who accepted Ismailism and speak the language Khawar, a common lingua franca of the northern Ghizer and Chitral region.

Javed Sb.'s family belongs to the Kaka Khel community, majority of whom are in the Swat region, and consider families like Javed's outsiders yet insiders. Insiders because they are from Kaka Khel, outsiders because they dont speak Pashto anymore, are Aga Khani and  non-rigid in many ways of practicing religion and life. We laughed at some of the anecdotes shared regarding this :)

Javaid Sb. like his father and his son Naveed Hayat is an educationist at heart. He served Aga Khan Education Services Pakistan for 30 years as a primary school teacher. The school her served most was DJ Gulagmoli, which was initially a government school, then incorporated within AKESP, and now also affiliated with AKUEB for Middle School Programme.

We had some wonderful conversations over a hot cup of tea, potatoes, boiled eggs, fried chicken and fresh water coming directly from a chashma :) I also had the honor of listening to a few couplets from Javaid Sb's to be published book of poetry in Khawar, called Gurzen or Garden.

Met students at Al Amin School Gulmit. The traditional beautiful caps are a part of their uniform, connecting them with the Gulmit culture. Our interaction started with a quiz of where am i from - from Islamabad to Iran to Afghanistan, all were guessed :p 

The students had experienced the project of Border Demarcation and when they acted as the boundary commission body, they took the map of Gulmit itself and drew administrative borders along the lines of people speaking different languages: Wakhi, Shina, Brushaski ... Each administrative block received equal access to river water, mountains, land area and other resources. The overall purpose of borders and its possible benefits and consequences were also briefly explored, raising many unanswered queries :)  

This feels like January in Gulmit, says Qasim - a resident. One foot snow in the month of April is quite uncommon here, thus i accept this snow fall as a welcome for me :p 

Students unprepared for the snow, in shalwar kameez and spring shoes walk up hill 30 min and more to their respective villages - some making a snow man, others throwing on each other, cheerfully tread this common path :) 

Waving Hands

Meet Ms. Khushi Pinjani!

The trip reminded me of the question I asked the teachers in Hunza a few months back, "what connects Hunza and Karachi?" Travelling from an altitude numbered zero to a grandeur height of 4800 meters, one feature traveled with us all along - the mighty Indus River. What a Geography 101 it has been; topography of the entire Earth encapsulated in a 4000 km journey south to north.

This country is not yet favored for its topography but despised for its intolerance and turmoil. Domestically too, people clamor under one national identity yet independently share many associations, that have been interpreted in a way sowing seeds of distrust and animosity. The bearded hate the pant shirt, the urbanites despise the maulvis, and the women go without a voice. In this air and smell of distrust and doubt, what difference can a 11 year old dimpled girl with a waving hand bring?

Let's meet Khushi Pinjani. Fighting with her 7 year old brother, faking stomach ache, she clinches on to the front window seat of our 27 seat coaster to experience a path she has never treaded before. But Khushi is not a silent explorer; she carries with herself a magic - a magic that saint Kabir says, is endowed by all of us yet seen only when one sees within and explores the veiled potential. Manifestations of that magic can be many, and for Khushi that is a simple waving hand.

Use of hand is a language in itself; when waved to a distant observer it signals a hi or bye. Whichever Khushi's audience assumed of the two, the wave became magical when it was complimented with a smile of innocence, that within seconds energized the air and traveled straight to the softest corner of the person receiving.

The hand was waved to all; the young and the old, men and women, domestic and foreign, similar and different.




Fortunately Khushi has not been bogged down by fixed perspectives that might limit her gesture to only the Familiar. It was wonderful to see how a simple hand and an honest smile could bring a smile on to so many faces, escaping, though for a moment, the barriers that often stop us from valuing humanity regardless of faith, color and creed!
   

   
     

LETTERS FROM KHUSHAB

14/03/2016

There is no network. I feel it’s a blessing in disguise. And a wonderful excuse for me to write to myself.

This place is so quiet, soft and peaceful; I can hear even the slightest of the voice from my surrounding. I am sitting in a cozy room wrapped in a blanket. The room is attached to a Victorian style lobby with a frame hanging on the wall of an early 20^th century army general. Outside this villa stands a gorgeous view of the Soon Sarkesar valley – 360 degrees of lush green lands and tiny hills!!

The Khushab Cadet College hosts 50 students and 10 teachers along with several staff members at this beautiful location placed at a height of 3000 feet above the sea level, geographically placed amidst the famous Salt Range. The salt range is a unique place where though mountains from outside look the same as those in Gilgit Baltistan and elsewhere, but inside they are gigantic pieces of salt, hiding their identity behind brown and green camouflage. The pictures you saw were from the Khewra Salt Mines (British mined it in the 1800’s and since then salt makes its way from this wilderness to our kitchen and meals).   

Lt. Col. Safdar Kazmi is the Principal here. He is a retired army general who has served as the Principal of several cadet colleges. The time he enjoyed most was the four years he resided in Skardu. Over dinner we had many fruitful conversations, flowing from our personal lives, to role of degrees and contrasting role of education, to how professional class of Sindhis have migrated leaving behind a great vacuum, to Zia’s intolerable political rule and the imprints it has left on our society. For a moment I forgot I was sitting with an army general and if should think before discussing my views. He is a fine gentleman, very courteous and well intentioned.

I also befriended the guards and the chef – interestingly whoever works here is either a retired policemen, rangers personnel, or soldier.

…………

15/03/2016

Good Morning!! It is a fine morning now, with the sun shining bright and its light is not being hindered by any human made structure. Though when I woke up (at 6:15), the morning was not as pleasant. I was supposed to wake up at 5:30 – the over enthusiastic Ajay had committed to the Physical Trainer that he will join the students for the morning exercise. The P.T. teacher is retired army soldier and has trained many soldiers in his life, some of whom are also serving as brigadiers and generals today. I WAS LATE so I ran, brushing my teeth in less than a minute and quickly wearing my tracks. Luckily my watch was 5 minutes ahead of time, hence I did not disappoint the trainer.

Back to the school days – it was, with a few differences of course; I never had such a majestic view to see and fresh air to breathe. The exercise went well in the beginning – a few rounds of jogging and running, and then the real things started. My daily yoga dose helped me get through 30% of it :p rest included crawling on the floor, juggling up and down, and walking across the filed in murga position – hehe. I came last several times and could here from behind – “Karachi wake up”. Unlike in Cyprus and India, I today represented Karachi!

The day ahead was also very productive. The flush did not work, and hands shivered with cold water but thankfully these were not highlights of the day:P Teachers hailed from different parts of Punjab and KPK. They were active and had many questions to ask. The Sargodha Baord, they have been previously affiliated with gave them rote learning but did give them marks. They feared if marks will become an opportunity cost for students in return of conceptual learning. There fear was right but so was the significance of learning – in life. So in short, the session was filled with discussions, examples from life and the supporting system AKU Examination Board provides at every step to ensure teachers, students and the school is provided continuous support. The Principal felt really convinced towards the end of the day, and wrote a positive email to AKU EB staff in Karachi. I bonded with teachers and got to know a wonderful Shair who with his philosophical insight gives a very different perspective to everything!!    

………

16/03/2016

I have been playing for two days very briefly and my hand hurts so much. It is a wonderful game, especially when played in the mountains!

Yesterday night there was a grand dinner in the college garden, all students and teachers were invited. There was a rostrum and I was invited to speak to the students. Students asked me interesting questions – how did I choose this profession and did I ever fail. They were surprised to know I had failed several times. It was conversing with them – I left them with a question. How did we know the Earth is round and not flat as early as 300 BC? One student brought me an answer to that question today evening. He searched the library and located a text written about that in a book .. and that text led us both to a few other questions – it was amazing J

The Principal attended the entire workshop with teachers as well as with students. He wrote an email to the Examination Board that he wanted not only 9^th grade but also 10, 11 and 12 grade to affiliate with us! It has been a very humbling experience – majority of the students here wish to join the armed forces of Pakistan but when asked why, their purpose is vaguely limited to words like courage and love for the country. It was a tough call to disregard my personal opinions and connect their desire to join army with the need to develop skills like decision making, critical thinking and comprehension. Thankfully they seemed motivated and themselves connected the worth of conceptual learning with their desires :)              

The more people I meet across the country and the world the more this thing hits me, that if only people met each other in an environment of trust and acceptance, I doubt one would call other his/her enemy. An the fresh air in these majestic mountains and valleys, make our mind reflect and get rid of the corruption installed my restraining thoughts and ideas.    

The Physical Trainer has promised me a serious exercise tomorrow morning before I leave – I am a bit scared what his ‘serious’ means :p

HOOOOF … This was something Big and a bit scary too I must say. Some students invited me to their room. Then the topic of religion was introduced and questions began – who is a Hindu? what do you believe in? which book do you refer to? And as I started responding to some of the questions the room filled from 7 students in the beginning to 30 towards the end. Yea it was risky waters and I could see their eyes glued to what I was saying. Analogies really helped lighten up and introducing Hinduism as a philosophy made some sense. I know these were the questions they had in their mind for so long, so I did not want to inhibit those today but seriously had to beware not to come across as blasphemous as well as an atheist since both are considered devious crimes here, especially in Punjab! Thankfully the conversations tilted towards extending our horizons and acknowledging different perspectives be it history, religion or otherwise. I don’t think the conversation would have concluded so soon if the dinner bell would not have rung.

But I must say, I could really feel the power of education today and also its’ potential to tread risky waters. Education is a dangerous tool if not handled carefully – I truly hope I was balanced.

Fingers crossed.

…

I did not know this was not the end of highlights for this evening. After having dinner with Col. Sb., I was invited to a teacher’s room for gup shup. This person (Mr. Amjad) is an amazing personality. He like students started with the question “how Hindus view the origin of human life on Earth”, and then the conversation went to a completely different dimension – to the very basis of education, its purpose and how it is caught up in systems today. He is a shair and introduced me to Iqbal’s shairi in a completely new light – one that I was totally unaware of. Using Shaitan as a metaphor for capitalism, Iqbal in his Persian poetry written in early 1900s narrated significant events in human history along with his analysis of future with such depth, sarcasm and power. What I loved about Amjad Sb., was his command over Persian and more than that his ability to translate the couplet in such simple and clear language that any lay person can understand and contextualize. It was truly amazing. I have spoken to Col. Sb. and he has agreed to allow Amjad Sb. to have poetry sessions with students – and Amjad Sb. has also agreed to send me the written translation of Iqbal’s poetry as well as in his own voice. There is just so much talent in Pakistan and I am sure around the world, waiting to be revealed!