Saturday, 9 May 2020

When Deception and Freedom Walk Side by Side


Hushhhshsh … At Last now it is safe
Safe as a bird in its hatch
Safe like the string in its sacred place in the guitar
Safe as a song unsung

Isn’t it quiet!!
Yessss ..ssss At Last it is quiet
Quiet as the lake in the winters
Quiet like the leaves at midday
Quiet as the night undisturbed

Ohh.. it’s not moving!
For heavens, it is still
Still as a mountain in its place
Still like a memory restored
Still as a breath unobserved

Don’t you want to ….
Want to what?
Let it be .. Let it free?

Free you say
Free as a haunting dream spree
Free like the dishonor awake
Free as a havoc unchained

See not as you see
Be not as you be

Free .. yes Free
Free from the stillness so rigid
Free from the quiet so sorrow
Free from the safety so insecure

Free .. yes Free
Free as the singing nightingale
Free like the breath unrestrained
Free as it must be 


Smashing my fist on the wall


The wall was rough
I felt I was tough

Smash went my fist
Didn’t feel an earthquake on my wrist

Went again, like in the films
Imagining the heart heals after the pain swims

Who says
It didn’t matter then who says

Anger was meant to be addressed
Became the medium for internal grievances to be suppressed

It doesn’t work that way
Have to stay with it till the time gradually takes it away

I Wonder Why


My guardian My beloved
My friend for 12 years and more
Moments of pressure moments of joy 
You gave us all

Today I wish to register a complaint
By me .. and by many others
Who feel like me

Life is meant to be uncertain
You know and I too
And with Covid you really do!

Then I wonder why

You walk so certain each day
In the 12 years passed on to me
As if black and white
Hold nothing between the two

Tales of explorers continue to remain
Your best themes told
And my best bedtime stories
For times ebb and flow
Letting my dreams and imagination
Ignite the creative halls

Then I wonder why

When testing moments of decision
Come to fall
When faith demands you and me
To hold our heads tall

Why fear of unknown
Acts as a winning case
Celebrated by all



Monday, 12 August 2019

Jaantay ho Kaun hai Turbat?


881,913 square km of land constitutes Pakistan, out of which 44% is demarcated within the province of Baluchistan. With my educational travels to outskirts of Punjab and the hill station schools in the adventurous mountains of Gilgit Baltistan, I often boast I have experienced sprinkles of education across Pakistan. When advert for workshop in Turbat appeared on Facebook, I googled and was surprised at my ignorance that it is the second biggest city in Baluchistan housing an international airport. Opportunity to volunteer for the camp excited me to explore the unfamiliar terrain, experience an infamously labeled province and decrease some % of personal ignorance.

When 46 degrees does not limit your excitement, it is the desire to walk the unfamiliar territory and thrill of meeting some students somewhere that becomes the source of joy and enthusiasm. A traditional beginning it was; amphi seating - girls on one side, boys on the other - chief guests in the front, words of appreciation and so on. The fun started the guests made their way out and the word 'fear' was thrown in the air. Initial hesitant responses soon converted into courageous and bold expressions by boys and girls alike: 'zamanay se dar lagta hai, ghar waley naraz hotay hain, khud se dar lagta hai', and experiences of day to day struggle started pouring in, receiving permission for the summer camp, included. At the same time we observed a pattern - after every 5 - 6 expressions of fear came a bold response that the panacea to the fears lie in 'self-belief, self-motivation, faith and personal courage'. Those interjections altered the energy in the room. 

We the facilitators from rather privileged backgrounds were amazed to see how conscious these students are. when day to day acts of waking up without electricity, struggling to reach school, accessing fuel, water and food due to security concerns, and connecting with the larger world through internet becomes a struggle and a stimulus to act courageously, children grow  far too soon, and traditional pen and paper educational systems hardly keep up the pace. As one participant shared her experience, given that females completing middle school is a privilege, imagining a participant resisting her parents' decision to pursue arts instead of medicine is tantamount to bringing a revolt in the system. 

Now we felt somewhere confident where to begin from, and the next three days of 'design thinking' were driven by their raw experiences and our desire to weave them piece by piece into an unfamiliar cloth of connection. We had three guiding principles from the Acumen journey - 'stay present', 'step into the discomfort' and 'trust the process', along with our host co-facilitator - former Acumen Fellow, Granaz Baloch. She is a fearless mentor for students who intervened intermittently with inspiring narration in Baluchi. The power of mother tongue was profoundly evident when she spoke; unfortunately most students in Pakistan are bereft of the space to express and experience learning in the language they best understand. 

Granaz allowed us to make the learning space co-educational. A completely unfamiliar experience for the students, we learnt. From the amphi seats we moved on to the floor, where students gathered in a non-chaotic yet in-orderly seating arrangement of 4 and 5 together. The students came from 10 different schools across grade 8, 9 and 10, both public and private, along with selected fellows who represented the diverse departments of Turbat University. All with mixed bag of experiences shared common systemic challenges, and those were used as pretext to walk through the different stages of design thinking. Water, transport, health, education and sports were contextualized by their personal encounters, which in mix gender groups were identified as alive systems with numerous individual and institutional stakeholders, and their respective roles. Inevitably students found themselves and their community one among the stakeholders, and thus a contributing factor with an agency to act. Many stereotypes also surfaced, especially towards the opposite gender - 'nahin socha tha larkay bhi kuch serious sochtay hain'. It was heartwarming to know that students found this space safe enough to share their misconceptions and allow themselves to be vulnerable.

In the process we shared many delightful moments; making stories, role playing situations, discovering actors and singers among the participants, allowing our bodies to move with balloons, and bursting them bidding farewell to at-least one fear for today. In four days strange faces became familiar friends, and bond of laughter, cry and care was born. Realization resurfaced that a 'no-go area' is only one where heart was not at the driving seat. Once the self-created perception of the 'other' is broken, a beautiful 'us' takes birth. Thus we have an 'Ask'! Children across the unfamiliar terrains are awaiting such encounters. Crawl if not walk, as Martin Luther says, but step towards and not away from these distances.           
  



Sunday, 16 June 2019

Unsettling Or Settling - Day 3 Journal


25 April 2019; Acumen Seminar 2 in the Hills of Murree 


Buhat socha buhat samjha

Kuch us ka qisa
Kuch apna qisa

Khayal kayi uljhanein kayi
Suljhanay ko kahaniyan kayi

Sulajh na paye ek bhi
Shayad suljhana inhein hai hi nahi

Sawal kayi jawab kayi
Khubsoorat khayal kayi

Hawaoon ki tarhan inhein udnay do
Suraj ki tarhan inhein jalnay do

In ke beech kya mehsoos karte ho
Un ehsasat ko ubharnay do

Woh khamosh thay ab tak
In kison ke peechay

Shayad un ko ubharnay ki jaga dena
Bhi hai ek naye kissay ko dawat dena 

Tuesday, 7 August 2018

A eulogy to the 12 burnt schools in Chilas

"Aik Paigam Aaitish Bazigaron Ke Naam"

Aik school mein hota kya hai
Woh aatish nazar ho gaya to khota kya hai?

Padhti hain yahan bachiyan, bola kisi ne
Tauba Tauba - Jalado inhain! socha kisi ne

Raat ke andharay mein kar dala unhein aagh ki nazar
Raakh ho gayi - woh table, woh kursi, woh rang barangi soft board jis pe kabhi, bachiyon ne seencha tha ek khoobsoorat manzar

Aik school mein hota kya hai
woh aatish nazar ho gaya to khota kya hai?

Sochtay hain woh - kitabon mein hai taleem
kursiyon mein, imaraton mein hai taleem

Band ho jaengi yeh imaratein
To rastay school ke tham jaengay

Ek chotay school se
Nikalta hai ek baray school ka raasta

Jis mein tum bhi ho
Aur mein bhi hoon

Woh school hai - taaron ka, chaand ka, sooraj ka, parindon ka, darakhton ka, baadalon ka, pahadon ka, nadiyon ka, khuli fiza aur hawaoon ka

Jin ko dekh kar - poochta hai dil, mein kaun hoon, kahan hoon, kaise hoon, kyun hoon

Aatish nazar kar sakte ho in sab ko
To kar do

Warna sawal ubhartay rahenge aatish ban ke
Is school se us school tak

Aik school mein hota kya hai
Woh aatish nazar ho gaya to khota kya hai?

Saturday, 15 April 2017

Gilgit Baltistan Diaries March 2017


​​
Once again this road has called on to me but thankfully i have my team with me for a crazy ride 🎢
I always cherish how travel brings up in in depth conversations around every topic alive - educational landscape always being the centre! Reaching Gilgit Baltistan is in itself an introspective educational experience one must venture upon 😊

Firyal's first ever flight !! Or i should say first and a stretch of consecutive flights to the north most part of Pakistan and the world, and back to the sea level :) Traveling with Teacher Development can be highly invigorating ... Welcome on Board !

And we met these mountains too.. At night they reflect a dark and ruthless personality or a firm and strong one - perspectives!

When educators across age, region and professional positions hold balloons 🎈and engage themselves in activities of using space and pitch, there is strong hope that these RSDUs will visit the  middle schools they supervise, with a rekindled spirit and enthusiasm :)


When a traveler from Karachi confuses desi butter with boiled potato πŸ₯” and takes a wholesome bite throat reminds of the stupidity :p Visited Badar's immensely polite and hospitable parents and a serene house :) Ate Pako, Shuwanchal and Desi anda !!


Badar's mother Zareen Nama is a symbolic gesture to the struggles mothers undergo to dream for the prosperous future of their children. Originally from Hundur, Yasin she arrived in Gilgit after marriage as her husband Zarb Ali Khan joined the army. His army travel took him to UN peace keeping force in Congo, and across the country of Pakistan, while Zareen was left with 5 children, and a job of Grade 1 Govt position at Public School Gilgit. The school gave her a medium to channelize her dreams and her children were enrolled .. she learnt subjects with them and acted as a teacher, mother and father to her children. As time passed so did the hope and struggles strengthened. Today they have a beautiful house of their own, all 5 have excelled in their respective fields and their own third son - Badar, is traveling to Zareen's home town Hundur with Aga Khan University Examination Board to strengthen their Middle Schooling Programme :)

Its a door way !!

It was always a dream to run πŸƒ down to the people playing cricket in the mountain fields .. and so Badar and I did :) It was a semi - final match played between players from Somal and Yangal - near by villages to Gupis. The air was freezing but with 22 to score in 12 balls both teams were heated in their cheers and silence. Yangal won on the second last ball with a six !!!

Sometimes the beauty is so spellbound and magnanimous that eyes spark with excitement and a smile of calmness appears on the face :)

A morning tea with Ali Jan, receptionist at PTDC Gupis for past 17 years, strengthened our purpose to be here!! He is a resident of Gupis and his three children study at Diamond Jubilee School Gupis. The conversation started with the stories of tourists flowing in and out through the years, and then went into the lives of his children and how after encouraging conceptual learning in the middle years his son Ahtasham Ali who is in 10 grade has to appear in a local board lacking quality and accountability thus causing frustration. He was glad to know that his daughter who is now in grade 7 Neelum Ali will undertake project based learning with AKUEB and hopefully when she enters grade 9 will appear from Aga Khan Univ Examination Board. We shared a couple of hearty laughters when nature of projects were discussed including the one on endangered animals, as a body of Ibex was sitting in the reception area. Ali Jan also spoke about his younger son Tanweer Ali who studies in Grade, sometimes Ali Jan sneaks into his books and gets surprised how much they already learn at this age, which he did not experience till very late.

It is amazing how a systematic change can positively affect so many lives in so many ways - and the role we individuals play within it :)

Gupis PTDC. Its a chilly morning - socks are up, muffler is tightly locked on the throat, ears are packed yet the wind finds its way and shivering begins !! Balance is what my mother has always advocated for. But what is 'balance' i continue to search. So when i do yoga in this serene and solid ambience, i do find an expression of balance - when the breathing clears within and the parts of the body crack open, the body and mind find a way to connect with the fresh air outside. Its experiential Its amazing 😊


We lost him and then we found him :p Lengths residents hop for fishing the unique Trout !!



Diamond Jubilee Gulagmoli - at the height of above 3000 meters above the sea level. Met Naveed Hayat - SST teacher and Rustam Khan, English teacher from another DJ school. This school has 380 students enrolled who come from 10 diff villages, and many students walk for about 40 minutes in snow and cold!


PTDC Phander - This is the view from my room πŸ˜‡ It was the most cold night i have ever experienced. The last i stayed in a snowy night was in Boston but houses had a heating system. Here i had a small one rod electric heater - good for warming hands if i made an effort to bring them near the rod. After two layers of clothing, throat tightly locked with the muffler, double socks, woolen cap, ear cover and 3 blankets, the frozen lake gave me a tough time. They say, if sub comes then you can take a bath otherwise ... i was lucky to see the shining rays of the sun whitening the snow at 7 am and Naeem bhai, the care taker was on time with a bucket of sizzling hot water. Shaving and taking a bath was another feat altogether 🎢 I wonder...What a feat it must be, day in and day out, for students from 10 different villages who walk 40 minutes to reach the DJ Gulagmoli School every morning!

Teacher Development Team has reached different heights - Gulagmoli 3250 meters above the sea level - enroute to Chitral via Shandoor Pass


Had the pleasure of meeting Javaid Hayat at his 200 year old residence in Gulagmoli. His family like many others in the village, migrated from Swat and Chitral region. They are Pakhtoons who accepted Ismailism and speak the language Khawar, a common lingua franca of the northern Ghizer and Chitral region.

Javed Sb.'s family belongs to the Kaka Khel community, majority of whom are in the Swat region, and consider families like Javed's outsiders yet insiders. Insiders because they are from Kaka Khel, outsiders because they dont speak Pashto anymore, are Aga Khani and  non-rigid in many ways of practicing religion and life. We laughed at some of the anecdotes shared regarding this :)

Javaid Sb. like his father and his son Naveed Hayat is an educationist at heart. He served Aga Khan Education Services Pakistan for 30 years as a primary school teacher. The school her served most was DJ Gulagmoli, which was initially a government school, then incorporated within AKESP, and now also affiliated with AKUEB for Middle School Programme.

We had some wonderful conversations over a hot cup of tea, potatoes, boiled eggs, fried chicken and fresh water coming directly from a chashma :) I also had the honor of listening to a few couplets from Javaid Sb's to be published book of poetry in Khawar, called Gurzen or Garden.


Met students at Al Amin School Gulmit. The traditional beautiful caps are a part of their uniform, connecting them with the Gulmit culture. Our interaction started with a quiz of where am i from - from Islamabad to Iran to Afghanistan, all were guessed :p 

The students had experienced the project of Border Demarcation and when they acted as the boundary commission body, they took the map of Gulmit itself and drew administrative borders along the lines of people speaking different languages: Wakhi, Shina, Brushaski ... Each administrative block received equal access to river water, mountains, land area and other resources. The overall purpose of borders and its possible benefits and consequences were also briefly explored, raising many unanswered queries :)  

This feels like January in Gulmit, says Qasim - a resident. One foot snow in the month of April is quite uncommon here, thus i accept this snow fall as a welcome for me :p 

Students unprepared for the snow, in shalwar kameez and spring shoes walk up hill 30 min and more to their respective villages - some making a snow man, others throwing on each other, cheerfully tread this common path :)