Seeker

The dust on my hands

The pain in my thighs

The restlessness in my throat

The sweat on my face

Clouds hugging the mist

Wind blowing its trumpet

Heat clenching its fist

Breadth sensing its chord   

The echos of my sound

Bouncing back to where I stand

Sun playing with the sand

Scribbling lines long and wide

Minute lasts an hour

Thirst awaits every drop of gold

Seek not what you sought yester

Pain and pleasure now walk together

Reason bequeaths its throne

Shelter drops its guard

Logic crawls behind faith

Seeker becomes the sought

Path Taken

                                                                                                           Cento 

Drive slowly                                                                             (1)

Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear                                  (2)

With the windows unrolled                                                      (3)

Confusion, like the heart, gets left behind                                (4)

Whispered the heart

With who, how and what

If I must worry about how

I would be without dreams now                                               (5)

For what are space and time but the inventions                      (6)

And…

How much - how little - is within our power                            (7)

Looking into the heart of light, the silence                               (8)

You breathe; new shapes appear                                             (9)

In this short Life that only lasts an hour                                  (10)

I took the one less traveled by                                                 (11)

Reminded by a child who a drew a circle sky

Because the sky has no edges                                                  (12)

So do I …                    

1.      A great wagon – by Rumi

2.      Still I Rise – by Maya Angelou

3.      Hospital parking lot, April – by Laura Kasischke

4.      Death - by Donald Revell

5.      Allow Me – by Chungmi Kim

6.      Death - by Donald Revell

7.      In this short Life that only lasts an hour – by Emily Dickinson

8.      The Burial of the Dead – by T.S. Eliot

9.      A great wagon – by Rumi

10.   In this short Life that only lasts an hour – by Emily Dickinson

11.   The road not taken – by Robert Frost

12.   The Artist Child - by Dunya Mikhail

When Deception and Freedom Walk Side by Side

Hushhhshsh … At Last now it is safe

Safe as a bird in its hatch

Safe like the string in its sacred place in the guitar

Safe as a song unsung

Isn’t it quiet!!

Yessss ..ssss At Last it is quiet

Quiet as the lake in the winters

Quiet like the leaves at midday

Quiet as the night undisturbed

Ohh.. it’s not moving!

For heavens, it is still

Still as a mountain in its place

Still like a memory restored

Still as a breath unobserved

Don’t you want to ….

Want to what?

Let it be .. Let it free?

Free you say

Free as a haunting dream spree

Free like the dishonor awake

Free as a havoc unchained

See not as you see

Be not as you be

Free .. yes Free

Free from the stillness so rigid

Free from the quiet so sorrow

Free from the safety so insecure

Free .. yes Free

Free as the singing nightingale

Free like the breath unrestrained

Free as it must be 

Smashing my fist on the wall

The wall was rough

I felt I was tough

Smash went my fist

Didn’t feel an earthquake on my wrist

Went again, like in the films

Imagining the heart heals after the pain swims

Who says

It didn’t matter then who says

Anger was meant to be addressed

Became the medium for internal grievances to be suppressed

It doesn’t work that way

Have to stay with it till the time gradually takes it away

I Wonder Why

My guardian My beloved

My friend for 12 years and more

Moments of pressure moments of joy 

You gave us all

Today I wish to register a complaint

By me .. and by many others

Who feel like me

Life is meant to be uncertain

You know and I too

And with Covid you really do!

Then I wonder why

You walk so certain each day

In the 12 years passed on to me

As if black and white

Hold nothing between the two

Tales of explorers continue to remain

Your best themes told

And my best bedtime stories

For times ebb and flow

Letting my dreams and imagination

Ignite the creative halls

Then I wonder why

When testing moments of decision

Come to fall

When faith demands you and me

To hold our heads tall

Why fear of unknown

Acts as a winning case

Celebrated by all

Jaantay ho Kaun hai Turbat?

881,913 square km of land constitutes Pakistan, out of which 44% is demarcated within the province of Baluchistan. With my educational travels to outskirts of Punjab and the hill station schools in the adventurous mountains of Gilgit Baltistan, I often boast I have experienced sprinkles of education across Pakistan. When advert for workshop in Turbat appeared on Facebook, I googled and was surprised at my ignorance that it is the second biggest city in Baluchistan housing an international airport. Opportunity to volunteer for the camp excited me to explore the unfamiliar terrain, experience an infamously labeled province and decrease some % of personal ignorance.

When 46 degrees does not limit your excitement, it is the desire to walk the unfamiliar territory and thrill of meeting some students somewhere that becomes the source of joy and enthusiasm. A traditional beginning it was; amphi seating - girls on one side, boys on the other - chief guests in the front, words of appreciation and so on. The fun started the guests made their way out and the word 'fear' was thrown in the air. Initial hesitant responses soon converted into courageous and bold expressions by boys and girls alike: 'zamanay se dar lagta hai, ghar waley naraz hotay hain, khud se dar lagta hai', and experiences of day to day struggle started pouring in, receiving permission for the summer camp, included. At the same time we observed a pattern - after every 5 - 6 expressions of fear came a bold response that the panacea to the fears lie in 'self-belief, self-motivation, faith and personal courage'. Those interjections altered the energy in the room. 

We the facilitators from rather privileged backgrounds were amazed to see how conscious these students are. when day to day acts of waking up without electricity, struggling to reach school, accessing fuel, water and food due to security concerns, and connecting with the larger world through internet becomes a struggle and a stimulus to act courageously, children grow  far too soon, and traditional pen and paper educational systems hardly keep up the pace. As one participant shared her experience, given that females completing middle school is a privilege, imagining a participant resisting her parents' decision to pursue arts instead of medicine is tantamount to bringing a revolt in the system. 

Now we felt somewhere confident where to begin from, and the next three days of 'design thinking' were driven by their raw experiences and our desire to weave them piece by piece into an unfamiliar cloth of connection. We had three guiding principles from the Acumen journey - 'stay present', 'step into the discomfort' and 'trust the process', along with our host co-facilitator - former Acumen Fellow, Granaz Baloch. She is a fearless mentor for students who intervened intermittently with inspiring narration in Baluchi. The power of mother tongue was profoundly evident when she spoke; unfortunately most students in Pakistan are bereft of the space to express and experience learning in the language they best understand. 

Granaz allowed us to make the learning space co-educational. A completely unfamiliar experience for the students, we learnt. From the amphi seats we moved on to the floor, where students gathered in a non-chaotic yet in-orderly seating arrangement of 4 and 5 together. The students came from 10 different schools across grade 8, 9 and 10, both public and private, along with selected fellows who represented the diverse departments of Turbat University. All with mixed bag of experiences shared common systemic challenges, and those were used as pretext to walk through the different stages of design thinking. Water, transport, health, education and sports were contextualized by their personal encounters, which in mix gender groups were identified as alive systems with numerous individual and institutional stakeholders, and their respective roles. Inevitably students found themselves and their community one among the stakeholders, and thus a contributing factor with an agency to act. Many stereotypes also surfaced, especially towards the opposite gender - 'nahin socha tha larkay bhi kuch serious sochtay hain'. It was heartwarming to know that students found this space safe enough to share their misconceptions and allow themselves to be vulnerable.

In the process we shared many delightful moments; making stories, role playing situations, discovering actors and singers among the participants, allowing our bodies to move with balloons, and bursting them bidding farewell to at-least one fear for today. In four days strange faces became familiar friends, and bond of laughter, cry and care was born. Realization resurfaced that a 'no-go area' is only one where heart was not at the driving seat. Once the self-created perception of the 'other' is broken, a beautiful 'us' takes birth. Thus we have an 'Ask'! Children across the unfamiliar terrains are awaiting such encounters. Crawl if not walk, as Martin Luther says, but step towards and not away from these distances.           
  

Unsettling Or Settling - Day 3 Journal

25 April 2019; Acumen Seminar 2 in the Hills of Murree 

Buhat socha buhat samjha

Kuch us ka qisa
Kuch apna qisa

Khayal kayi uljhanein kayi
Suljhanay ko kahaniyan kayi

Sulajh na paye ek bhi
Shayad suljhana inhein hai hi nahi

Sawal kayi jawab kayi
Khubsoorat khayal kayi

Hawaoon ki tarhan inhein udnay do
Suraj ki tarhan inhein jalnay do

In ke beech kya mehsoos karte ho
Un ehsasat ko ubharnay do

Woh khamosh thay ab tak
In kison ke peechay

Shayad un ko ubharnay ki jaga dena
Bhi hai ek naye kissay ko dawat dena